Because Pirates just ARE, ok?

Ahoy Google Crew,

We be writin’ t’ let ye know how disappointed we be with the newest update t’ Gmail. Yar, it be true yer crew has provided helpful updates t’ this popular email program in the past, but we feel ye ‘ave missed yer mark this time. Aye, we be greatly distressed t’ see the inclusion o’ a Ninja theme but a lack o’ a Pirate Theme available with the other new themes. It may e’en be enough t’ make one think that the Google Crew is pro-Ninja.

As ye may be aware, the' battle between Pirates and Ninjas be still bein' waged. While we understand that thar be individuals that will pick sides, we caution ye t' be careful which side ye choose. While the question o' who be better, Pirates or Ninjas, be not easily answered, we hope that ye will understand that leavin' Pirates out o' yer theme choices be a grave business mistake.

Not only have Pirates been around longer than Ninjas (thar have been pirates since the first person built the first boat), Pirates be far more commercially successful than Ninjas. Take, for example, the recent success o' a certain group o' movin' pictures. These stories followed the' legends o' me brethren in the' Caribbean and were such a success we have had trouble with the' sheer number o' impersonators.

When was the last time thar was such a successful Ninja movin’ picture? Let alone three. Ninjas only be havin’ a few teenaged turtles that talk. In our opinion, turtles are good fer nothin’ but soup.

Yar, while Ninjas be admittedly good at hidin', a Pirate has no need t' skulk around in the shadows. We be open about our business and people fear us enough t' surrender merely upon the sight o' our flags upon the horizon. This, me buckos, be true intimidation.

We implore you t' end this discrimination immediately. The Pirates be demandin' thar own theme as well. We think we’ve made more than enough o' an argument t' prove our deservedness. We thank you in advance for your consideration and hope that when we pass you in the street we’ll be able t' give you a buckoly “Ahoy Mate!”.

The wind be always in yer sails,

PANSY
(Pirates Against Ninja SupremacY)

Google has made a grave error in the new themes that they offer. They've designed a ninja theme...but no pirate theme.

That hurts Google...that really hurts.

This Is The Day...This Is The Day... *

...to delete your myspace page I guess. Happened across this blog entry and had a nice little chuckle. Sounds like this guy arbitrarily decided to make January 30th "National Delete Your Myspace Page Day". It's funny, I almost did this on my own last Sunday.

On his original post about it, he gave some reasons you might want to delete your account. Here are a few I thought were funny:

4. You visit someone’s Myspace profile only to suddenly have music start blasting out of your speakers. Bonus points if it happens to you while you’re at work.

This usually isn't a huge issue for me. I keep my speakers off most of the time. But if you're surfing myspace at work?...kinda serves you right don't you think?

6. You visit someone’s profile only to have your eyes bleed because of terrible page layout with non-matching designs and font colors.

Haven't I talked about this before? Oh yeah. Here it is. This is a serious serious problem people. Don't you ever visit your page and see what it looks like to the rest of us??

9. You’re frustrated with the fact that Myspace doesn’t allow you to post your contact info, meaning to contact someone you can only use Myspace’s glitchy Instant Messenger, message/email system, or wall commenting.


Ok. It's going to start sounding like I'm sticking up for myspace here or something (and that's not what I'm doing at ALL) but doesn't everyone know the reason you don't put actual contact info on a very public web page? I mean aside from the fact that you'll get a CRAPload of spam...it's dangerous folks. And if you REALLY want to post your email address?...um, you all know that workaround right?

10. You’re tired of seeing Tom stare out at you from millions of friends lists and just wish he would change his f***ing profile picture. **

Tom has always cracked me up. Maybe I was a little hasty when I immediately deleted him from my friends list...but hey. I didn't know the guy. He wasn't my friend. Why has everyone kept him around? Are they really that desperate for the largest number of 'friends' they can possibly come up with? Yeesh.

Now don't get me wrong. Myspace has its uses. I have several music friends that swear by it for networking. And thats great. But boy am I tired of having to pick my "top" friends. Or all those stupid bulletins.

I may not have jumped on the bandwagon THIS January 30th...but there's always next year.

One of these days Myspace...

...one of these days.

*who can finish the good ol' Sunday School tune the title came from?

**curse word omitted to protect the innocent. After all, this is a family friendly site folks.

A brief lesson in...

...judging a book by it's cover.

There are certain types of phone calls that I receive almost every day. There are the typical information gathering phone calls from normal people looking for apartments. There are the phone calls from residents who are having a problem. There are sales calls, and contractor calls, and calls just to say hello. But my favorite are the people that think they can find an apartment by only looking at the outside of a building.

First, when they call it's because they have seen a sign in the neighborhood that looks like this:



















Ok, maybe it doesn't look quite like that. (How's THAT for Photoshop skills!) But what does that sign ultimately say to you? More on this later...

This is a phone conversation resulting from someone seeing the sign:

Caller: Yeah, I would like more information on the apartment you have at *insert address here*.

Me: Oh, you've seen a sign. We actually don't have an apartment available at that address, just one of our permanent signs.

Caller: Ummm....oh. Well...

Me: What kind of apartment are you looking for?

Caller: Oh a *insert type of apartment here*.

Me: *Proceeds to tell caller about whatever apartment is available in the criteria that they are looking for*

Caller: Ok, well I'll drive by and look at it and then call you back.

This is where I'm always dumbfounded. How in the hell can you tell what an apartment is like on the inside based on what it looks like from the outside? I always offer to show the inside of the apartment and 9 out of 10 times I'm told "No, I'm just going to drive by first." Now, I would understand if the apartment is located in a different neighborhood or something.

For example, lets try something here. I'll show you three pictures of the outsides of three buildings. We'll call them 1, 2, and 3. Yes, I know I'm original. Then, I'll show you three photos of the insides of those apartments and we'll call them A, B, and C. It will be your job to match the correct interior photo with the correct exterior photo. Got it?

















Here is 1
























...2...


















...and 3.

And now for the interior photos.

Here is A.

















And B.

















And C.

Lets see how well you do matching the interiors with the exteriors. I'll post the results tomorrow.

Oh, and back to that sign. I also have a very similar copy running in the newspaper. It's amazing to me how people see what they want to see.

"Yeah, I'm calling about the one bedroom apartment you have listed in the newspaper."

WTF? Does that thing not say "1, 2, & 3 bedroom apartments and houses"?

A brief lesson in...

...Logic!

I'm going to have to start giving these "A brief lesson in..." posts more often I think. And pass them around to certain individuals I will not be mentioning here.

So. Let's get started. Of course the following situation is completely hypothetical. Any similarities to a real situation is unintended.

Person #1: Have you seen my calculator? It is no longer in or on my desk.

Person #2: What does it look like? Was it the blue and grey one I found yesterday on my desk?

Person #1: Yep! That's my calculator. Do you still have it?

Person #2: No, I didn't know who's it was so I put it over there.

Person #1: After looking "over there" for the calculator and not finding it, asks Person #3 Have you seen my blue and grey calculator?

Person #3: Oh yeah, I saw it there and asked Person #4 if it was hers. You might want to ask her.

Person #1: sigh Thanks. Hey, Person #4, have YOU seen my blue and grey calculator?

Person #4: Yeah! It's in my desk drawer. We didn't know who it belonged to so I just held on to it.

Person #1: Gee Thanks.

Ok. There is one more little piece of the puzzle you will need to solve this terribly difficult logic puzzle. There are a total of 5 people in the office. Person #5 (not mentioned in above scenario) has a very special calculator that can not be removed from her desk.

Now this would have saved Person #1 a good deal of time if the other three people could have figured this out.

Let's work this out. So, Person #1 is gone. Person #2 finds the calculator and realizes it isn't hers. Person #2 places calculator in an area that would suggest it does not belong to her. Persons #3 and #4 discuss amongst themselves whether or not the calculator is either of theirs. The calculator has now come in contact with three out of five office workers, none of whom the calculator belongs to.

Since the calculator does not belong to Persons #2, #3, #4, or #5 (as we know from the above statement), who does the calculator belong to?

I know it's difficult, but I'm certain with just a slight amount of brain power you can come to the correct conclusion. I have faith in you! And now that you have solved this puzzle, lets see how often we can ALL use logic in our day to day lives.

What a different place this world would be!

Tune in next time for "A brief lesson in Customer Service!"

Curse you St. Louis!

How is it that there aren't more accidents here when it rains??

I do have to give St. Louis folks props, to some degree, on being able to drive basically blind on the roads around here when it rains. There is just no way to see the lane markings when the road is wet, especially at night. It's miserable! You're basically guessing on where the lanes should be and hoping someone else doesn't guess that their lane overlaps where you think yours is.

Of course, what I've been saying for years was finally proven (in my mind at least) last week when I heard THIS.

Come on St. Louis! Help us out and put some decent reflective markings on our streets!